today is the the last day of our long holidays.. my holiday is wasted cos now i cant really recall all the things i've done without looking at my past entry.. many things happened.. some are happy, some are disastrous, some are boring and one is painful..

school is starting tmr.. many students will start to complain abt how short is the holidays.. some will be happy to see their frens or even new frens.. while most of them will be waking up rather early tmr to sch to copy homework from those hardworkings one.. lol! no matter wat u will do tmr morning, it is the start of 2006.. do try to do something tt u regretted not doing for the past few years.. or maybe try new stuffs out.. haha.. tts wat i wanna do..

the main focus in this year is of cos the "A" level papers.. i regretted not getting into a poly but.. haha.. im not going to try to enter one this year!! lol.. cos i wasted one year in JC.. so i have to do all the stuffs this year.. so sad.. my target seems so far away.. this is especially true when i saw my promos results just now..

homework aside.. stepping into 2006 means tt im just 1 year away from National Service(NS).. until now, im not sure how im feeling abt NS.. neither nervous nor excited abt it.. but one thing i noe, the buddies i meet in there will be guys.. haha!! another thing is, i will have less contacts with my outside frens.. esp the girls.. no no.. most frens i noe are of same age as me.. so guys will be in NS too.. i can see them when we are out.. (only if they got no GFs la.. haha..) but girls? they have to study, work or date.. lol..

toking abt NS, i have to brush up my stamina this year.. my stamina had always been very weak.. cos i HATE running.. i HATE the breathless feeling.. so i seldom train on it.. i rather swim than run.. at least im free in the water.. haha.. my sit and reach have to improve too.. i want to be more flexible.. erm.. physically and mentally.. haha..

im really confused on how to be "JUSTIN"..
if we dun care abt how ppl think.. tts impossible.. we are humans.. lets admit we cant.. we somehow get affected..
yes.. we shld do things tt benefit us.. but how to do it without being selfish.. tts a tricky problem.. if u say u are willing to scarifice everything for no repay.. u are again lying to urself.. it is near impossible.. (not impossible)
im very concern abt others and myself.. but mummy will just complain im just in my own whole.. deep inside, im really not..
sometimes i just dun mind being clown.. haha.. joker.. lamer.. watever.. i just hope ppl ard me will be happy.. cos they are the ones tt make me happy too! haha..
it is difficult to please the both parties.. we just have to learn..

there are many dunnos in life.. i just hope this year i will uncover more of these dunnos.. haha.. tts growing up! so i hope this new year will be greater than previous years.. haha..

cya.. signing off..

talked more trash @ 6:54 PM

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