i thought i said no more such rubbish from myself.. just 2 weeks ago, i woke up late and had to postpone the tuition to start late.. took a cab down.. rushed like crazy.. cant get a cab.. everything is still deep in my memories.. but.. but.. i made a much more idiotic mistake today.. i woke up 30mins AFTER the tuition time.. i made Mr Soh wait.. i let Yiwen wait.. i let myself down.. felt so guilty, nvr in my life before.. i cant forgive myself this time.. so i had to cancel the whole tuition today.. made Yiwen called for help when she din bought her wallet out.. everything is just my fault today.. i will do everything to repay..

then i carried on with my work at home and go out at 1pm for GP tuition at 2pm.. well.. unlucky enough, the train did not stop at my station.. i thot it will stop for me.. the train went beyond the station.. which means half the train is out of the station.. so i had to wait another 10 mins, clocked up a total of 20 mins waiting time.. why so unlucky.. not only tt.. cos of the delay, the station was packed with ppl.. so i had to squeeze into the train.. stood beside a guy with Body Odour.. how unlucky can i be? i thot i could move away.. but i got nowhere to escape cos it was packed with ppl who sensed it..

at tt moment, i was thinking, why am i so unlucky today.. then deep in my heart, there was another voice tt said, "open ur heart. ask urself. are u truly unlucky?" im not going to say tt Africans have no proper meal nor many cant even walk and hear.. the thing is....

why do we always feel so negative? i mean, when unlucky things happen, we can remember deep, blame everything tt can be blamed.. say thousands time of "unlucky".. but whenever we are thinking negatively, we forgot all abt the positive stuffs.. u see.. no one ever remember when they get a seat in a crowded train.. no one ever remember when did he not fall down when he almost did on one rainy day.. i believe there are much more lucky stuffs to recall, to remember, to celebrate for.. but i thot and hope i will be the one, unfortunately, i cant.. probably im designed such a way tt negative stuffs always leave a deeper impression in my heart.. how tough can training be.. but nvr thot of how training had trained me to be stronger.. how difficult it was to bring up a performance.. but nvr thot of the 5 mins happiness after the show.. maybe i thot of.. but..

NEGATIVE > positive

cya.. signing off..

*the entry on monday pop out all of a sudden.. must be the fault of the server.. sorry to make you read two times of the same content.. well.. would you like to spot the difference? ok.. being lame..*

talked more trash @ 11:45 PM

*******